


Rebound

by Leloi



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Drug Use, Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, F/M, Internal Monologue, M/M, Pining, Red Beard, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:46:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloi/pseuds/Leloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rebound.  Re… Bound.  It’s a funny sort of word, isn’t it?  I suppose it’s supposed to make you think of what happens when a ball hits an immovable surface and… But do I really have to explain it?  From my understanding most people have experienced it.  Hell, even He has experienced it…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebound

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: Spoilers, Drug Use.
> 
> My reaction to "His Last Vow." Well... Part of my reaction. It's actually more of a delayed reaction to "Sign of Three," filling in the gaps between the two episodes.

Rebound. Re… Bound. It’s a funny sort of word, isn’t it? I suppose it’s supposed to make you think of what happens when a ball hits an immovable surface and… But do I really have to explain it? From my understanding most people have experienced it. Hell, even He has experienced it… No other way to account for the number of women who passed through His bed. 

I’m… On the rebound, I suppose. I suppose it depends on what kind of ball I am to know which way I will “bound.” That is a horrible analogy! It’s almost worthy of Him. Jesus Christ… I’m pathetic.

Red Beard was mine. Father got him for me soon after I came home from my first term in school. That year the other boys didn’t hold back with their fists or their words. I suppose in a way Red Beard was a form of rebound too… But not really. He followed me everywhere and shared in my adventures. Unlike the boys at school he never judged me or called me names… He only ever gave me love. He followed me everywhere… For years… Until he was too old. They put him down while I was away at uni. I loved that dog.

I loved Him.

I still love Him. There’s an empty place in my chest, I can feel it… Where He has been torn away. Mycroft warned me. He said it only makes us weak. And He is my weakness. I could never deny Him anything. Watching Him dance with her…

I taught him to dance. For weeks I held Him in my arms and guided his steps around the room, our bodies pressed together. I never understood the need for cold showers until then. Thank god He never seemed to notice and I always found an excuse to send Him home before I burst. Wanking in the shower… Look at how pathetic I’ve become.

He’s going to have a baby. He is elated… As well He should be. 

I had to move His chair. His presence distracted me from the work. Work is my mistress… My wife… My… Mistress? Why would I even consider work to be a mistress? That would imply the work is secondary. But what does it matter? I suppose I’ve had enough cheating on my one true focus in life. It is time to return to the work… Fill the void with puzzles and clues and…

And I am losing my mind! Where once was organized is now chaos. He has ruined me.

The work… I must focus on the work. 

The case came like any other. “Please, Mr. Holmes…”

And from there I used all my resources. Janine… Ah… Now we come to the rebound. I have never experienced so much physical affection in my entire life… Well… Red Beard doesn’t count in quite the same way. In some ways a woman is very similar to a dog… In many ways, not. Her fingers and lips touching me, tempting me. I never “got it up” for her. It would have been easier to fake my affections if I had… But only one person ever did that for me… and He is married now. 

Nights with Janine clinging to me… I tried to imagine Him next to me. Their scent was not the same and made it difficult to imagine. But sometimes as I drifted off to sleep, He would be there. “I love you, Sherlock.”

It was too easy to lose my sobriety. The feeling of the needle in my arm. The rush and release. Danger nights… Since He got married EVERY night is a “danger night.” I spent several days after His wedding in a similar state. Perhaps that is how His blog was updated… I don’t recall my state of sobriety at the time. How many times did I type “sex holiday?” There was a whole room in my palace dedicated to Him consummating his marriage. I couldn’t delete it. How could I? She is pregnant! There was confirmation aside from having to witness their consummation that He has had sex with her. I can delete His one night stands. I can’t delete babies and where they come from. Bloody hell… 

And then I woke up to hear His voice talking to the man beside me in the drug house. Just how long had I been gone?

And from there He met my rebound. And from his reaction I deduced… Shock and hurt. Hurt? Oh… I forgot what else rebound relationships are supposed to be used for. Aside from making you forget, they make your “ex” jealous. 

My poor, beloved John. I can barely function without you… How can you imagine I could replace you as easily as you’ve replaced me? The next time you marry… It will be me. And I’ll give you everything I couldn’t give Janine no matter how much she begged me for it.

I think I’m still a little high. Why am I writing about sex again?

\--Finis

**Author's Note:**

> Yes... John being referred to as a upper case pronoun is on purpose. 
> 
> P.S. Sherlock's parents still amuse me.


End file.
